背包走天涯之纽约

Letter to my Landlord

Dear landlord,

first and foremost I would like to thank you for providing me accommodation for these 6 months. Our tenant and landlord relationship has progressed to one of friends. I could never have foreseen that. I know for sure there is no perfect landlord in this world, for we all have our differences and peculiarities. No one would ever willingly wish to live with a stranger for 6 months, as we all value our privacy and space. The prospects of making a few hundred dollars per month to help you pay the mortgage is too enticing, and that I think, removes all your reservations in renting out the room which you, as you have said before, would rather keep for your overnight guests.

When I first arrived you were nice to drive me from my hotel to the house. But I had a shock when I entered your bathrooms. I saw gay magazines that had covers like "Which celebrities would you prefer to have a homosexual relationship?", "Top gay fashion for the month" and "The ins and outs of gay sex". I knew then that you are a homo. I wasn't petrified because I have had bad experiences with gays. Quite on the contrary it was because I had no prior experience with homos. I was fearing the unknown. I had no friends that were homos and so I had completely no idea how you would behave. Do gays like every guy that they see? Did the years in the Columbian monastery have any influence? Would you pounce onto me in the middle of the night? Do you have a partner? If you have, are you the "male" or the "female" or is there such a differentiation at all? Could you tell that I am straight and all I wanted to do was to see America, complete my internship and go home in one piece and would you allow me to do just that? I must admit that in the first few nights, the adjustment to the time difference was made worse by the preoccupation with those thoughts and the lack of a lock for my door. I could wake up to the sound of a pin dropping on the floor and I would peer at the door from time to time from the corner of my eye, keeping watch for the slightest movement. All that stress proved unnecessary, for you turned out to just like any other person.

There was a Saturday night when you were dressing up to go out and I asked in politeness, "So where are you going to?"
You replied in your Spanish accent, "I am going to this club in Queens where they have nice music and I could sit around and relax with my friends." You hesitated for a while and continued ,"Well. You know, it's a gay club. I would like to bring you there someday if you are curious."
I wonder, whether you said that to see if I were a homo, or were you just being polite. Whatever it was, frank openness is healthy and you should know by now that I am straight, because I deliberately left the swimsuit issue of 8 days on the table. I had to, just to make sure you get the idea. I told my friend I was afraid you would fall in love with me. She ridiculed, "Who do you think you are." I thought about it. She certainly had a point. Then again she warned that I shouldn't be using that red lip balm I bought without giving a second thought.

Dear landlord,

I am perplexed by the effort you take into decorating your house and making sure the bed is as flat as a pancake. You have paintings, photo frames and sculptures all over the place at the expense of precious space. It isn't practical to me. What is the point of having a table in the room when I can't use it because you have it decorated with a lamp, a set of old books, a clock and a pair of fairies. I also don't understand why you suddenly put up a cross with Jesus. Is that for decoration? Or are you trying to bless me? I would never know.

There were times when I would see you fall asleep in your couch, after spending hours in front of the tv alone. I felt pity for you because I know that despite your peculiarities you are inherently a good man. I read in 8 days that most dog owners receive love more that they give to their pets and thus they are selfish in a way. But you are different, as you didn't really intended to have your 2 dogs. You took them in after your friends found the homeless dogs wandering in a New Jersey jungle. How selfless is that? You also told me you worked hard to bring up your 2 younger siblings in Columbia. Your brother is now a politician. I respect you.

You asked me how much am I charging you for creating your cleaning company's website. I said,"Nothing." I wasn't trying to ingratiate myself with you. I believe we should do things out of goodwill sometimes. I admire you for being an entrepreneur and I am glad to be of help. Besides, wouldn't you agree that, more often than not, we don't see the immediate returns of our actions? We shouldn't be short-sighted.

When the first snow came I mentioned to you that I nearly slipped. You told me of a superstition that if I had slipped and fell in my first snow in America, I would have to stay in this country forever. I didn't slip, though you must have quite a few times apparently when you were first here.

Dear landlord,

by the time you read this I would have been back in Singapore for a few years. You would probably never have a chance to read this letter. But there is a slight possibility in this well-connected world that you will. If you are reading this, I just want to let you know that I am thankful for your friendship, and for providing me that comfortable queen size bed.

posted by wayne @ 4:47 PM